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Perspective on Visiting the Past

Recently I received a call to visit a young woman who had just suffered a massive brainstem stroke – just like me. It was a year and a half ago that this 32-year-old Texan woman, Audrey, was enjoying her life with her wonderful husband and two toddlers in sunny California – just like me.

Vibrant and physically fit she was living the good life – just like me until suddenly she was struck with a massive brainstem stroke – just like me. This past week I visited Audrey in the hospital. It was like taking a trip down memory lane. The room was the same, the machines were the same, everything the same. She wants to kiss and hug her two little toddlers, ride bicycles, surf and make love with her young husband. She is alive and aware and wants to live - but cannot respond to anyone – just like me. She is helpless, frightened and wondering what will happen – just like me.

As I looked into Audrey’s eyes, I know she realized that I represented a true miracle standing before her – a miracle that may well happen to her, too. It was a very powerful and humbling experience to sit with Audrey in that room. It took me back to where I was 10 years ago and reminded me of how grateful I am to be where I am today.

Those of us who have traveled down this road and – any road of paralysis – and have recovered can be a shining beacon of strength and hope for someone now going through it by sharing our experience and just being there for them. I applaud those of you who are already doing this - and there are many. When we reach out and help others we take the focus off ourselves – and also help ourselves as much as we help others. This has been the key to my recovery.

Remember, you can be an advocate for someone who is paralyzed. The hope that you bring to the family and the patient, is rewarding. The hundreds of e-mails with comments: “Thanks for being there;” “Thanks for giving us outsiders a look in what is going through your mind during this trying time;” “Your own determination and story has already helped.” Comments such as these make it all worthwhile for me. You can also empower others by speaking for them and saying the things they cannot yet say. You will also be empowered at the same time. Seeing Audrey this past week was a reality check that at any time our lives can dramatically change. How are you living your life each day?

My purpose in life is the same as my professional purpose; to give hope to others personally and professionally by sharing a very simple yet powerful message: You will overcome the paralysis that keeps you where you are by focusing on what you want, not on what you don’t – and on what you can do, not on what you can’t. It works – it is so simple and it works! You can then be an advocate for others who are paralyzed – in whatever way you have been paralyzed and have recovered.